A little while ago, I was part of a facebook group that was looking for submissions on mental health. They wanted the experiences of friends and family as well, and so I wrote this short piece for them. I think it's appropriate to share it here and now, for Mental Health Awareness Week.
It's written to be read aloud, and is dedicated to several friends of mine.
"It turns out that the people around me, the ones I care about, have had troubles all their life. They only told me when they had perspective, when it felt like the worst was over. I think I’m grateful for that, really. Now I feel like I can listen, truly listen.
I’ve learnt so much - not to push, but to wait. To challenge gently. To be supportive, but to admit when I just don’t understand. To be honest.
You have taught me so much, all of you. And none of you know about the existence of the other. I might have mentioned a nameless friend of a friend who had felt a little like what you had said you felt...so that you know that you’re not alone. But you know that no two experiences are identical.
Do you know how strong I find you? It’s incredible that after so many tough boulders, so many big things to be dealt with in small actions, you’ve fought through to be in this place where you can talk about it, if you want to, or forget it for a while, if you choose.
You have the biggest heart. You love, even though you’re afraid. You think of everyone, always making sure that other people are ok. You listen to me when I have small, silly worries! Most of all, you’ve taught me not to judge, not even a little bit. You accept everyone so whole-heartedly, I respect you for it.
I respect you for the things that I don’t understand, but that you know too well.
Sometimes, it makes me sad. I wish I was a mirror, so you could look in my eyes and see what I see in you. A strong person, an independent and loving person. Someone who has been hurt and who fought it. Someone who fights it today too, sometimes. A person who can admit when they’re finding it hard. A person who manages this on top of work, a degree, volunteering, a family, children, friends, housemates, housework, doctors appointments, counseling sessions. All of this. You only let people down when you really have to - and even so you avoid doing that at all costs. I respect that. I see beauty, in your smile, because I know that for a time it was rare. The same for your laugh. I see you as untouchable by fear or doubt...but I guess you have to get good at hiding that kind of thing. So I respect you so much more when you let me in, for a moment, for an hour, for a day. Each moment with you is precious.
I want you to know this on bad days. I want you to know this when your spoons run out and you’re tired. I want you to know that I’ll always have a place for you.
I know, that when things get really bad you won’t call me. But a little while later, you’ll write me a letter or we’ll go out for coffee and have a chat.
And then I am so glad, to have you back."
This is a really moving piece, Sid. I think it's so important that anyone struggling through difficult mental or physical battles - or both - knows they are never alone, but still never forced to tell what they're going through. You're doing a great job with Mental Health Awareness Week. Keep doing what you're doing and you're going to change a lot of people's lives for the better.
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